Divorce is a major life change that can leave a person reeling. Suddenly being on your own to deal with issues such as money, children, career changes and downsizing the family home can seem overwhelming. Making a good adjustment to life after divorce may sound simple, but it almost never works. Did you know the recovery time after divorce can take between three and six years? The reason is the huge ball of emotional reactions triggered by your divorce that resides in your heart and messes with your life decisions as we try to adjust to life as a single person after years of marriage.
The issues that prevent a rapid adjustment to life after divorce are emotion-based and, as such, cannot be solved logically. All we can do is dissolve the disruptive energy they cause. For example, you got divorced and it’s painful. You cannot “solve” the problem of divorce because, regardless of what you do, you are still divorced.
However, there are ways to start on the path of recovery. First, create and use a good support network to help you release the emotional impact of your divorce. Second, redefine yourself with a new life purpose. Third, set and start pursuing new goals for your health, wealth, love and self-expression. And, fourth, if you have kids, minimize the effect of divorce on your children.
As hard as it is to believe right now, one day this marriage will just be something you did once. You’ll go on and you’ll have what you create.
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See also my book “The 4-1-1 on Step Parenting” for a more comprehensive resource.